No good very bad day....

Today seriously sucked....I mean in a huge way!!  It was our first day back after christmas which is never a good thing, but to top it off there was a snow storm and the roads still had a amount of snow and ice and from the evidence all over the roads the drivers out here don't know how to drive on the white shiny stuff....guess its a good thing that I am a midwest girl and driving on the snow is like second nature to me. 

So back to the crappy day.  I made it into work only to ice skate through the parking lot to check in, followed by skating back to the car to sit in the warmth for the next 20 minutes before we had to go form up 15 minutes prior to actually have a formation time (side note here, in the military 15 minutes early is on time and on time is late and the first sgt who holds formation is 15 minutes AFTER the said time but is NEVER late...you do the math!) so I proceeded to stand in freezing cold weather wearing combat boots that were not waterproof and well there was snow on the ground so I started off the day with wet toes....I was cold and miserable!!  Standing in one spot not moving, and having wet boots, listening to the 1st Sgt ramble on about who was there and who wasn't there....and blah blah blah, all the while I could only think about how my toes were going to fall off and may never walk properly again!!

So after standing and freezing the said toes off, we were sent down to the ice land that once was our motor pool....the motor pool had not been touched and under the snow was a nice layer of ice....and again my boots were wet.  I am not digging this tuesday which was our monday.

So we had to "walk the line" and do "command maintenance" all the while trying to understand why were the only company working when most were off because of the weather.  That is a head scratcher right there.

So here we are, at the motor pool doing command maintenance and I go to work on my generator...and lookie here the damn thing is still broken, not only broken but completely deadline (meaning that it won't work at all) the battery line has been cut and remains cut and has been this way for the past month...yes Sgt, I did notate this on the 5988 and the jackass who is suppose to fix this issue hasn't done so!!  Thanks a whole lot!

I go to bring this issue up to the E-6 in charge and well I guess in his Army world, he is more interested in chasing tail of a young 23 year old than work real issues within his platoon....news flash Sgt Doucher....the whole company knows that you and little girl are hooking up and I am sure that your wife knows the same...its not like you don't live on post and for that matter a few blocks from your little piece of tail!!

So the issue wasn't fixed, I couldn't get any real help and being a female in the Army today totally blew....

Oh well tomorrow is another day to try to break the glass ceiling right?  Oh and to wear two pairs of socks and some boots that are weather proof, then again it could be in the 50's and I won't need any of the above!!

Family, military style

I realize that being in the military, there are certain things that we are and are not allowed to talk about and well that is just par for the course I guess, do I always like it, no not really especially since I have my opinions and views that I am never afraid to express but I live with it, what other choice do I have?

But while having one of the most stimulating conversations with my husband last night I had a ahhhh haaa moment, and something hit me....and I really felt at peace with it when all the puzzle pieces fell into place.

Let me share with you.  We as a country have been fighting wars since our birth, most of the time on foreign lands.  We have always been a volunteer military, meaning that we are not forced as citizens to join under normal situations.  There are always exceptions to the rule, like during WWII and Viet Nam. But in general we are a volunteer military, with that being said, it blows my mind that so many men and women have given the selfless sacrifice of the life they had for this country.  Its such and honorable thing, and I am time and time again in awe of it.

What I asked my husband (aka my Sgt.) was how is it to be over on foreign land fighting risking life and limb when you know that not everyone supports the cause you may be fighting for?  I know that not everyone believes in the wars going on, yet they still stand among us in the ranks.  The answer that he gave me made perfect sense and only made my commitment to what I do that much stronger.

We are not fighting for a cause at the end of the day.  We are fighting for the guys (meaning men and women) to our left and right.  We would do anything for our families, this doesn't change on foreign land, just the fact that your family is the ones who are with you serving and fighting.  You give your life so that your buddy doesn't have to.  So he can go home and spend another day with his wife and kids or her husband and kids. This made perfect sense. 

I would give my life limb or whatever else to save and protect my family.  And yes, when we are down range those that we deploy with ARE our family, we laugh, cry, fight, and live with these people sometimes for 15 months...you can't help but to have that type of bond with them.

So really at the end of the day does the cause matter?  What the people in the big white house think is in our nations best interest does that really matter?  Or does the guy to your left and right matter?  His life and his well being, that is all that we really care about in the here and now....let the politicians in the Capital deal with all the rest, we will fight and take care of our own and live life the way that few understand but make perfect sense to us....

Maybe that what makes the military and the military family stand above the rest, we know what the value of life and family is....

New beginnings....Round 4

It seems as if our family dinamitcs has once again changed....we have a wonderful full time addition to our family.  It seems that this day in age (wow, am I the only Gen X'er that uses this term my grandparents probably coined?) blended families are par for the norm, and ours is no exception.  But back to the post....we have a new full time addition to our family and it isn't one with four legs!!  My Sgt's oldest son has moved in with us, this is a for good type situation. 

I can't be happier with the way things have played out....while I am not looking through the situation with rose colored glasses, I am looking at it as in I am the luckiest girl because instead of one amazing man in my life I have 3!!  It was a package deal and one that I would gladly give my heart to all over again!!

So, we made the cross country treck to pick him up and bring him back "home".  It has been an eye opening trip for us.  He has little to no knowlegde of what life in a military family is like or even of the military itself.  I am reliving my youth by teaching him the ways of the military world (I am a seasoned military brat myself) but the awe and respect he is showing all that he is learning is awesome!!  When I told him that Monday he is going to get his id card, he was beside himself with excitement!!  He could not believe that he is getting something as important and cool as this!!  I remember the day I got my dependent id...I was just as excited...my dad celebrated by taking me for ice cream, I think I am going to take MJ down to the beach instead...hey the kid is from land lock kansas!!

So while we are halfway through our long drive back home, I can't help but be giddy with excitement and anticipation at all that is waiting for our family....my Moo has a full time big brother, my husband has the missing puzzle piece in his life, MJ has a fresh start that he so deserves and me, well I have it all!!  A awesome job, three amazing kids, and the man of my dreams.....really does life get any better?

Well I could be asleep right now instead of blogging at 0200 but hey, its still a long car ride so why not!!

Leave= nail polish and pony tails....its the little things in life!!

For the first time in my military career I am on leave and it is in no way shape or form related to a surgery or a illness....I am healthy happy and spending time with my family!!

We made the trek from the East Coast to Kansas earlier this week.  My Sgt and I have a great system for traveling....he drives, I sleep!!  Yep it works well.....that is until he decides that the world is against him, and he needs a few hours of sleep.  I personally think that this is just crazy talk and thoughts and he has lived on less sleep before, I mean, he drives so much faster than I do....he should just finish the trip up!!  But being the nice wifey that I am I actually helped to drive more this trip...yeah, I won't be making that mistake again anytime soon!!

One thing that I have noticed on this leave is that when we go "home" we spend a majority of our time eating.....yep, eating.  We hit all of our favorite local haunts, have the fam make our favorite dishes.  We go on leave and gain at least 10 lbs. and its worst now that its the holidays....you can always tell a military member home on leave, they are the ones with the goofy grins eating like its their last meal....yep, we are a dead giveaway!!

One of the other perks about being on leave....NAIL POLISH, PONY TAILS, SKINNY JEANS AND HEELS!!!  I am sporting a lovely shade of dark purple on the hands, worn my hair in a messy pony tail this whole week, have worn hoop earrings and already worn a pair of heels...the skinny jeans are tomorrow night when I go out with the girls!!  I am also wearing make up that is NOT neutral shades AT ALL.  No my loyal readers...I am not looking like a pre op tranny in any way!!

So while I am enjoying this short time as a pretend civilian, I find myself missing my army days.  I like getting up and going to PT, I like wearing my ACUs...I like my job most day and most importantly, I am proud of who I am.

Being on leave gives me time to be thankful that I am who I am and do what I do.  I work hard and play harder and every once in a while I like being nothing more than me....but when the time comes to take off the proverbial flip flops and lace back up my combat boots I will do so with out to many tears and I will rock that sock bun in the only way I know how!!

The menu for tomorrow....Papa Murphy's pizza and drinks with the girls from my childhood....but first a play day with my boys and my princess...

Life is good for this soldier girl!!

My Vet...

I grew up a Air Force brat, my dad served 23 years in the US Air Force and I had the most amazing childhood...while I didn't go to any exotic, I did my fair share of moving...I started life out at Malstrom Air Force Base in Great Falls Montana, lived in Guam, moved to Fairchild Air Force Base in Spokeane Washington, FE Warren Air Force Base in Cheyenne, Wyoming; and finished my childhood up at the one place I can lay claim to McConnell Air Force Base in Wichita, Kansas.  I use to joke with people and say that while my sister's blood glowed in the dark (my dad worked on nuclear weapons), my blood ran blue.  Yep I was Air Force through and through.

I had a thing for men in uniform, my high school sweetheart joined the Navy; my first husband was an Airman and the true love of my life a Solider.  Guess that while my blood ran blue, I am a Hooah girl at heart and the heart is what rules the world!!

Meet my vet.....

My Sgt. is also from my hometown, he was homegrown there...the boy whose family owned the "strawberry farm"...trust and believe these strawberries could bring tears to a grown man eyes.  But he was born and raised in out peaceful Kansas town, instilled with the midwest values that I find so enduring, knows what a hard days work is and the value of good country song and long dirt road.

While I never really found out what drove him to join the Army shortly after his youngest son was born, I would like to believe that he felt a sence of famiy pride, his grandfather served in WWII, his uncle was a drill sarg. from back in the day.  And as you know by now he joined the ranks as well.

He went in as a 13M or for those of you "civy's" out there a rocket jockey!  He was in field artillary (the king of battle), more specifically he was the guy who would sit in a tank that was designed to fire rockets out of well it looked like a box to me but I do believe that they perfered the word pod. 

My Sgt was part of the invading forces into Iraq at the beginning of Operation Iraqi Freedom, to see the pictures that he has of the hundred of tanks and trucks lined up waiting to roll in and do what the army does best, kick ass and takes names!  He did his part and came home in one piece..never the same but whole none the less. 

He would go onto serve yet another tour in Iraq completing the job that he had started.  I was with him during his last tour and to say that I didn't take a deep breath for a year is not far from the truth.  To love a solider is hard to love a combat solider is just pure craziness.  I never knew from one day to the next if he was on mission, if he was okay, if he was safe and warm or cool as it may be...did he shower, eat, get any sleep and most importantly did he miss me and love me as much as I did him?

He came home after his tour and served out his time.  He was an amazing Sgt and this shows by the love and respect his soliders still show him now even in his civilian life. 

While he is now out of the military he is still every ounce of the solider and Sgt he once was.  He is my inspiration in my solidering days even though our army's are worlds apart.

He has stepped down and let me slide into the combat boots.  He is an amazing husband and can pack a mean ruck sack.  So now he watches me come and go and do my solidering thing with a tight hug, big kiss and word and encourgement that only a solider can give. 

I would never be able to be half the person I am without him, in both of my lives!!

Above the Rest

So the transition to the new Unit is done.  I am no longer a part of the Mighty Shoremasters...it was bittersweet.  I went into the week with a crappy attitude and wasn't really looking forward to the change.  I was having to leave my very first unit.  I had gone through so much in the past year and I was comfortable, not happy just comfortable and I thought that was enough to get me through the weeks.  I couldn't have been more wrong. 

We went in for formation Tuesday morning to draw our weapon that we had been assigned and shot during out time at 241st.  We were going to be able to transfer to the unit with our weapon and in hindsight this is a really great idea, we have gone to the range and qualified on theses weapon, they are set to our individual standards and keeping them just makes sense (this rarely happens in the military!!)

  We drew our weapons and formed up again.  Role was called for one last time by our "old" 1st Sgt and then our "new" 1 Sgt took over the formation.  He again called role (cause in the 30 seconds it took to take over the formation someone could have simply vanished into thin air...see what I mean about common sense?) we were then marched from 241st company area across the quad and to our "new company". 

 Once we were at the new company we handed in our weapons and our pro mask (gas masks for those of you who are wondering) and we began the 2 full days of paperwork that it would take to process us into the new unit.  After this was all said and done we were broken down further into our new platoons and some of us got to find out what our new jobs would be!!  I am happy with where I landed.  I am in 1st Platoon (BACKBONES) and am still going to be able to train and continue to learn my job!!  I am also still with a few of the close friends I came to have at 241st! 

I was really dreading the platoon break downs because I wasn't sure if I would be able to stay with the few guys who I have come to know and trust.  I couldn't really bear the idea of me having to start from square 1 with the male situation that has come to plague my life since joining the Army. Being a happily married woman has left me with a huge target on my back, but this a topic for another blog!!

Once all the improssessing was done, and the integration process started we found ourselves at Thursday!!  Sgt's time training!!  This is time that is set aside every week for us to work on our basic soldiering skills.  We go "back to our soldiering roots" so to speak.  This was something that I had really wondered about...what would it be like?  Would it be a bore and total waste of our time, like I found most Thursday's to be in 241st? 

The answer to that question is....NOT AT ALL!!  I LOVED MY FIRST THURSDAY WITH MY NEW UNIT!!  I think that if this is a reflection of how the training and time is going to be, then I have finally found a place that I can happy most days.

While I am being a 100% realistic about this new chapter, I am going to maintain a positive attitude, I am going to go with the flow and take the punches as they are thrown...I am going to make the best of it and take all that is offered to me, for once I feel the saying "not setting us up for failure" is finally true!!

I am truly happy being "ABOVE THE REST".

My thoughts on Snyder v. Pheps (You know the protesters that plague our fallen furnerals)

I had a invite in my inox on facebook, I really wasn't in a hurry to open it up and read it so it sat there for a few days, this weekend I finally sat down and took  the time to read the messages and invites that I had waiting for me....and wow, this has sparked something in me!!  Let me explain!!

"The U.S. Supreme Court hears Snyder vs Phelps on October 6, 2010, at 10a.m. E.T, and this father of a fallen Marine needs all the prayerful support and encouragement we can offer...r him. Mr. Snyder lost his son, a Marine who fell while serving in Iraq in 2006. His son's funeral was the target of an intrusive, disruptive, hateful WBC (Westboro Baptist Church) led by Fred Phelps. The protesters held signs, stating "God Loves Dead American Soldiers" and "God Hates You". As if that weren't enough, the WBC then took random facts about Mr. Snyder, his fallen son Matthew, and his ex-wife and posted a vile and malicious "Epic" slandering the family."

Wow, its about time that this makes it to the Supreme Court level.  As a former paralegal and aspiring lawyer I understand the legal system better than most.  I understand our basic rights as Americans and am generally okay with it.

Now as a American, Soldier, wife and mother this case outrages me!!!  It outrages me because how can we let this group continue to cause pain and heartache to suffering families!!!  Families that have too paid the ultimate price.  So often we speak of the soldier laying down his life and paying the ultimate sacrifice, but the family too has also paid.  They will never hear their love one's voice again, feel the embrace of a hug, share a laugh, or even the luxury of a fight!!  All of these things we take for granted but you ask anyone who has lost a loved one and they are going to mention all the above and more!!

This group has every right to protest, its in their basic amendment rights but....have they ever once stopped to look at the other side of the coin?  The fact that some where in their family tree a member of their family served in the military?  That it is because of the military that they have the right to protest.  I mean they could live in a country that doesn't even afford women the right to leave home much less the right to protest!!

The restraint that we are forced to have when we see these blatant lies on signs....god hates soldiers, god is happy you are dead...I mean come on now, do I go to a funeral of your loved one to yell hate and lies, nope that is right I am overseas away from my friends and family doing what god and country ask of me.  I put life as I know it on hold so that you can continue to disrespect those who don't deserve it!!

And as far as Fred Phelps goes...what kind of leader sends his "minions" out to do his work...oh wait a spineless coward that's right...history has shown a few of those, Hitler, Saddam, Bid Laden, Mussolini...you get the picture.  He doesn't ever show up to a protest, yet he preaches all of this trash.  Why yes, I would like to follow you to the promise land, wait, will it really be you leading?  Or will you be hiding in a cave or hole somewhere?

So this week when the Supreme Court hears and rules on this case this week, I hope that they will make precedent and case law out of this case.  Show the family the respect and honor that they deserve!!  Put a final stop to this endless crap that plagues the most sorrowful moments in our nation, the lost of a true hero who has paid the ultimate price so you can believe the crap and lies you preach.....

Why yes Sgt. I would LOVE to spend the week cleaning my M16....

One of the true joys of being in the Army is the whole "HURRY UP AND WAIT" and this is true day in and day out. 

I am in a Unit that is going to be disbanding in the new year, so with that being said there is a lot of things that must happen at many levels almost all of them don't involve me!!  But a few do and when they do well its the next coming of the almighty (whom ever you believe in).  So this week should be no different, but with a little twist because after all we are the Mighty Shoremasters!!

So I mentioned before, with the Unit disbanding we are having to do things such as make sure the millions of papers that they keep on us is up to date, we haven't moved, changed phone numbers or even identities, those who are in or have loved ones in can understand this.  So I have put down my name rank and social so many times that its all auto pilot now, then we got to bring in EVERY SINGLE PIECE OF GEAR ever issued to us for a layout (we literally laid it all out on the ground, yep pretty deep stuff there!) again this was all to check that little square on a piece of paper, god bless America and the trees we cut down!!

So while our Sgt's are off doing important stuff (see square comment above) we are left with time on our hands, what better way to fill than to clean weapons!!!  WAHOO AND EUREKA!! I love cleaning weapons, nothing like mindless conversations, smell of engine cleaner and the endless sea of white pipe cleaners and q tips to pass a week by!!  If you ask me, this sounds like paradise!!  Okay enough of the sarcasm....so we set about the task of cleaning our weapons. 

Now, not to take away from the importance of this, weapons cleaning is very important for a soldier.  We need to have a clean weapon so that when the time comes for us to fire it, the weapon will be working at its full potential because having a misfire or even a jam is never a good thing and can be very stressful. I am even going to break out into my old SPORTS. 

• SLAP THE MAGAZINE
• PULL THE CHARGING HANDLE
• OBSERVE THE OBJECTION PORT
• RELEASE THE ACTION
• TAP THE FORWARD ASSIST.

(Yep I took it old school there, we are talking BCT!!)  But anyhow, we don't want anything but smooth firing when need to use the weapon.  So like I said, I don't mind cleaning my weapon!! 

Well we have been cleaning our weapons for 3 days now, I have gotten the ole girl about as clean as I can get her, lets be real here, she isn't going to be spotless unless a) J comes to work and cleans her {this isn't happening} or b) she is dipped in acid and all the dirt is eaten away!!  Lucy is as clean as she is going to be and patiently waiting till I get to either see her again tomorrow for a nice rub down, or pull her and take her with me to our new Unit!!

So I say YES SGT...LET ME CLEAN MY M16!!

Smellin like a boy isn't part of the deal!!

Ugh what a day.....we are back to hard core training.....which means early morning, long days and late nights...it also means hours in the sun.  Gone are my days of sitting in a nice air conditioned office or heated (depending on the time of year) wearing cute clothes to work, and shoes that I don't mind hurting my feet.  I traded it all in for the ACU's and combat boots....oh and the dog tags!

While today would have normally been a beautiful crisp fall day, working and being in the sun wearing a hard hat made it just well hot....and working around the vehicles only added to heat.  After awhile, I don't care who you are, your body spray is going to wear off, the girls are going to start to sweat and the sports bra yep its gonna be gross....oh lets not forget the hair matted to our head and the hairspray melting off and running into our eyes!!  I am telling you being a female in the Army is twice as hard!

I have come to realize that its the little things that keep me connected to the the pretty side of me....my chicken poop lip gloss (not made with real poop, but the best all natural stuff out there and made back home in Kansas...maybe if I had enough readers I could give a tube or two away!!) wearing the pretty engagement ring from the hubs, and smelly hand sanitizer, its not much but as much as I can do.

I love being in the Army and am so proud to serve most days, but on the days I come home smelling like the hubs and body aching....it takes me back to the days when I took mani pedis, pretty hair, heals, and office for granted.....

God Bless the USA, but would it be too much for  a stronger perfume?

Why only remember on holidays?

Tomorrow is 9/11 and today I found myself telling the hubs that we needed to stop by the store and get some more American flags to put in the yard for tomorrow.  I thought nothing more of this and went about the day.  As I am sitting here blogging tonight, I glance up and notice the American flags that waving in the breeze, they were put up today because we have a Unit coming home.  They are there in honor of the selfless service they have given these past 15 months.  And the thought hit me then, why am I only going to put flags out on holidays?  Why am I only going to make the effort to stop remember and thank those who served before me then; remember those whose life was taken in the blink of an eye that fateful morning?  Can I not find a moment or two in my day to remember these people year round?  Am I really that self absorb?  The answer plain and simple with no lies is yes....yes I am.

I would like to think that I am more patriotic than the average person.  My dad served in the Air Force for 20 + years, I have grandfathers, uncles and a brother who have served, my husband served in the Army and did 3 tours of combat and finally, I myself have joined the ranks.  But despite all of this I am your typical, think of them on the holidays or when I am reminded too.

Recently my family and I went to Washington DC, I got to go to Arlington and visit the Tomb of the Unknown Solider.  This was in EVERY way shape and form a eye opener for me.  To see the thousands of tombstones, to know that these individuals are buried here for a reason and to simply be there, it is so much larger than we are.  The stories that those men and women took with them to the grave are enough to fill the Library of Congress 10 folds.  But they were all hero's in someones eye.  We happen to be walking to the Tomb when Rivalee started to play, immediately without thinking I stopped faced where the flag would be and stood at attention.  My family of course stopped and faced the same way.  We stood there quietly and waited for the music to stop.  As we are standing there, me at attention and them with their hands over their heart, we had people walk up on us and stop as well, they had no idea what was going on, but one of them said I don't know why we are doing this but I think that they are in the military so we should.  Anyhow, the point of my story is that I believe that everyone wants to thank and remember those who have fallen and given their lives for us, some of us just don't know how or even understand it.  I was moved beyond words.  We also got to witness the changing of guard in front of the tomb.  What an amazing thing.  The honor and respect that is given to the fallen.....

I want to make a better effort in remembering those who served before me, the friends of my husband that fought side by side with him, that gave the ultimate sacrifice so that I could have another day with him, so that we could have the family we have. 

I am going to have a flag in my garden year round and I am going to take a moment each day to remember.  And most of all to say thank you, to those that had the courage that so many of us lack!! 

This blog is dedicated to all those who served before me, but more specifically to those men that gave their lives from Diamond Brigade...we love you and you are not forgotten.

I was thinking that I was employed by the Army....

I was thinking that I was employed by the Army, but after the summer I have had I can't help but to wonder if that is true or just a rumor....man basic training felt so real!! I can honestly say that the entire summer I worked 3 weeks....that was it!!  But I have endure some of the most painful times of my life....a foot surgery, infection that followed, waiting for the deep wound to heal, learning to walk all over, getting fitted for permanent inserts and finally dealing with the massive amount of scar tissue that is still there making simple tasks such as a museum visit pure torture at times....that was just the foot....I also had a particle hysterectomy  we won't begin to go into the healing process there, all I am going to say is child birth was a walk in the park compared to this!!  So I have officially been down for the count!!

I am due to come off my final convalescent leave on Saturday and sign back into the Unit.  When I go back I will have my deploy able status back and will be hopefully operating at close to a 100%.    I am excited to get back into the swing of things, to go back to working full time and working out like I had come to love!  But at the same time I am going to miss my one on one time with Moo and all the time we have got to spend as a family.  I truly love being a mom and wife....but I have always been one to want more...how can I raise my daughter to go after all her hopes and dreams if I myself was not willing to do the same?  I want to be her role model and hero, to both my kids!!

So now I am once again facing that all too familiar feeling of wanting to work, train and deploy but at the same time wanting and needing to be the everything to Mr. Man, Moo and Handsome....someone lied when they said you could have it all....so not true!!  But this is the life I lead and I would not have it any other way....

What are the struggles you face in everyday life?  What tears at your heart strings but still you press forward? 

All good things must be.....continued!!

After an amazing week with my older sis...N...she has decided that she must sadly return to her life....I will miss her, but I have made a vow that we shall not go 6 years or a wedding in between visits....details of our adventures to follow!!

What is your love story?

This is a serious question....I want to know...what is your love story? Is it about the one that got away? How you and your "other" have carved out a path together in this crazy game of life? Or is it about a second chance...maybe not with a "new" one, but perhaps a second chance with your one and only?

 

I am a helpless romantic and always have been but more so I am a hopeless monogamist!!! I have always enjoyed the comforts of a lasting relationship, one that affords me the memories of years past.....I had a long term boyfriend in high school, got married the first time and when that went south I took a chance at love again and found my one and only.....but the memories I have are enough to fill the pages of a book but have given me the life lessons to pass along to my children and let them see how their mother loves without reserve and jumps feet first into it!!

One of my favorite books of ALL times is one that Larry King (yes, that Larry King) put together...its titled "Love Stories of World War II", I have read this book countless times and it shows the signs of true love, the jacket that once graced this amazing book is long gone and the inside cover is colored on by my Moo....but today when I went to get it out to read a story or two I found something more important in there.....my love letters to J while I was in basic training.....MY OWN LOVE STORY!!!

I have saved all the letters that both J and I have written to each other through the course of our lives... while he was deployed, while I was in training I have them all and the funny thing is our underlying theme in our love story is the Army....because of the Army I am with my one true love. The locations maybe different and the circumstances never the same but the general theme to all of them never changes, I fall more and more in love with him with each passing day and the Army gives me plenty of chances to experiences "absence makes the heart grow fonder". But it works for us, and the time we spend together is that much more precious....because in the end we always feel as if we are living on "borrowed time." Don't feel bad about that.....its the truth and it works for us!! Hey we all have our little things that make us work right

 

So here is my love story:

 

On a February day, I was working from my home in SA....I had just gotten off the phone with a client and decided to take a break....I got a im from a Sgt. in Lawton...he also happened to be a guy I had grown up with, polite conversation turned into genuine interest if not with a romantic undertone....and 8 hours later I was interested, in a new friendship...the possibility of this friendship made me almost giddy, and the Sgt was true to his word and called me the next morning while I was driving to work, he put a spring back into my step.....so while we continue to talk at stolen moments during the day, plans were made to meet.....when we meet or reconnected again it was over for me, the way I fit into his arm was like the final puzzle piece being put into the half finished puzzle that had alluded one for so long. So moments became weekends and then I decided that I had to give this a real go...so I packed up my life as I had known it and made the move from Texas to Oklahoma. My Sgt would not be a daily presence for long, he made his way back to the sandbox and I was left with my pen and paper, my ever trustee book and the love for him that carried me through the long days and nights that would soon follow. So we were once again separated and live for the call, email or letter from the other. After ten long months he came home to me and made me his wife, a modern day "war bride" if you will.....he gave me all that I never allowed myself to hope for a FAMILY....and he gave me the love that is endless.....my Sgt came home from war safe and soon we learned that our family of 3 would become 4!!! So here we are 5 years later and the only complaint I have is that it took us so long to get together!! I know in my heart of hearts that we still have endless chapters to write and I look forward to the journey!!! And while I am now the wearer of the combat boots and ACU's the general story line is still there same...there was a solider and the "other"!!

So like I asked at the beginning of this....WHAT IS YOUR LOVE STORY?????

Not wanting to leave my bubble!!

Since this last foot surgery and I have had  to keep the weight off the foot, I have found myself to start to enjoy my "bubble".....not wanting to leave, not even to run down to our shoppette!!!  I have also found myself not wanting to talk to anyone, leaving my phone in the other room, not charging it....not typical me stuff!!

For those of you who know me, know how unlike me this is...I am the girl who is always on the go, going a 100 miles a minute from the word go.  Always have been and hopefully always will be.

But I have come to love my  bubble...its so nice here, I have all that I want, my computer, tv, dogs, blankets and the comfort to get around....crawling at times if I want to.  I have caught up on reading, indulged in my guilty pleasure (reading trash on cafemom) and lounging in my boyshorts and wife beater!!!

SOMEONE STOP THE INSA\NTY!!!! I can't go on like this....

J is not forcing me to break out of my funk...he is all too happy to let me be, forcing me only to leave the house for doctor's appointments. 

But I have started to recognize that I am being unhealthy and my depression is starting to get the best of me.  So I have sucked up the pain, wrapped my foot and strapped on the walking boot.  I am proud to say that for the past TWO...yes two days I have left the house to go do something other than run to the store and sit the jeep while J runs in and get our dinner.

Yesterday we went to the beach and had a awesome time, I got sun and saw my daughter have a blast plus witness a group of dolphins swim by. Tonight, we went and grabbed dinner then went down to Beach Street USA and while I sat and listened J and Madi danced and ran around till Madi's legs could no longer carry her all the while we listened to a decent local band. 

I will admit the air does smell a little sweeter outside the bubble.

Tomorrow..I am going to try it again and Sunday...well its JASON ALDEAN BABY!!

Army Translations for all my "civy" folks!!

So this was not the original topic of this blog, but I took a few minutes to read my comments and saw a request for simple translations to the "army terms" that I tend to use....and well since my blog is entitled "Combat Boots and Flip Flops" I thought it was a good idea...so here is your reference tool for all future blogs!!

Battle Buddy or just Battle --> close friend, someone who's back you always have

Hooah--> this is universal answer when nothing else will do, it can mean yes, no, roger that, understood

Roger--> another word for yes

Fubar--> Fudged up beyond belief ( being as this is an army term, the fudge is really just a substitute  for  I am keeping this blog PG)

FML--> Fudge my life

Shoremaster-->  I belong to the 241st, this is the Unit with in the 7th Sustainment   Brigadee (Brigade is the overall group of battalions) we call ourselves "Shoremasters" so when someone asks what Unit I am in I simply say I am a Shoremaster and they know 241st.

Platoon --> Is simply another break down within the Unit (our Unit has 4 platoons...Headquarters [maintenance, supply, clerical] 1st platoon, 2nd platoon and 3rd platoon... while I am injured I am in 3rd platoon, when I have my health I will be back in 2nd platoon.

Squad--> My assigned work group within the platoon (our platoons typically have 4 squads and when are not at deployment status we typically have 10 people per squad).

Con Leave--> short for convalescent leave, this is "free" leave from the Army, leave given to a solider so they have proper time to heal....in the Army, this is the BEST leave to have!

Combat boots--> the tan boots worn with our ACU's

ACU--> Action Combat Uniform (what we wear every day)

Baret --> the black hat I wear with my ACU's

Patrol Cap or PC--> the soft ball looking cap.  This is worn in the motor pool or when our company is in deployment status.  When you see someone wearing the patrol cap you know they are in deployment status [this is the hat you see troops in when they are leaving or coming home from war]

So here are a few "army terms" that I use on a regular basis!!

All I wanted to do was go to the doctor and offically "non deployable"

So today was my first post op appointment for my foot....I had set the appointment late in the day because with me not getting much sleep right now, mornings are even more of not my thing!!  So a "battle" or friend as the civilian world knows them stopped by for lunch and check in on me....mind you this is the FIRST person from my platoon to check on me (and she is a personal friend so that doesn't  even count!!) and she delivered the jaw breaking news....I had officially been moved to the non-deployment roster....UM YOU THINK!!!! I AM ON CON LEAVE UNTIL JUNE 25!!!!  Oh the might "SHOREMASTERS" never cease to amaze me!!!

So back to my day....J spent the morning getting enrolled in summer school...he has two classes, one of them is pretty much on line so that's not bad and the other takes him away on Tuesday nights.

But he gets home just in time to take me to my appointment and we drop Moo off at a neighbors and off we trek...we don't even get out of Virginia Beach before I see a car accident and EMT had not responded yet...so I reach in the glove box hand J his gloves and begin to call the doctor's office to let them know that we are going to be late to the appointment because J has to stop and render aid!

He goes and takes care of a British woman who happened to be 20 weeks pregnant (he is so hot when he is working!!!) and finishes up and we are FINALLY on our way to see my favorite foot doctor.

After a brief office visit of less that 10 minutes I have learned the following....

    1.  I am only the patient.. J and Dr. Diaz are really the ones who have this whole foot thing under control.

    2.  J is in total control of what medication and I am on and how much of it I need or get....Dr. Diaz  simply  goes along with what Nurse J says.

    3.  The pain is normal and it will go away....IF I HAD A DIME FOR EVERY TIME I HAVE HEARD THIS!!!

     4.  I must stay on the crutches for another 7days....boooooooo

So with this being said, I got more pain pills (going down in the whole strength scale), muscle relaxers, and AMBIEN....oh my sweet sweet ambien...I will finally have a good nights sleep.

So the day is almost and I am counting the hours until I can enter my sweet ambien bliss!!!

Toxic people

So I am a firm believer that there are toxic people in our lives...ones that latch onto us simply to bring us down...they are miserable in there own being and as the saying goes misery loves company!!

Let me shed a little insight into the toxic people (wait person) that have walked through my life, some staying longer than they deserve!!

I take personal responsibility for my life when I turned 18 and moved out of my parents home, this was my first taste of independence and the first burn of toxic...I meet T.B. in a gym class in college, at class she seemed cool enough, funny...easy to talk to....a friend for the girl who left Kansas and didn't know a soul...so we hung out and at first T.B. appeared normal and non toxic...the laugh was clearly on me!!

About 4 months into the friendship the lie tracks were being laid for the train she so often liked to ride (you know the train that is always going somewhere but really nowhere at all?) She complained of living alone and so far from school, she said she wanted a room mate and to live closer to campus, I said sure, I have a job and would love a place of my own...lets move in together it will be "fun". I was the "good" girl, the one she could be like, of course I am not a whore, look at my room-mate would she live with a whore? I was always covering for Little Ms. Fucks a lot (really as long as you could get hard then yes she would sleep with you) at times I didn't even bother to learn the naked guy's name who was drinking the oj out of the container at 4 in the morning....I mean whats in a name when she was going to be bring the next one home in a few hours!!

Then it was the "I have to lock my door because I have no clue who you are bringing into our place and I can't trust them"...oh I loved the night that this was thrown at me....yeah, cause my new bff is a obese girl who I picked up walking down the street one day OR all the Harry's I brought home....

Needless to say it was a solid 6 months of DRAMA and me covering for the girl...I guess the straw that broke the camels back was when a friend who actually is more of a brother ended up with a Nasty (and falling hard for her)....I had to stop and think why be friend with a toxic whore? Why let her bring others down around me and why let them continue to risk the well being of themselves!!

So I moved out and married T.M.(story for another blog) and moved on with my life...I left her in the nasty apartment to fit the nasty her!!

A few nights ago, I opened a facebook and found a friend request from her along with a pleading message saying she NEEDED TO TALK TO ME!! So I took the bait....I am nice remember?

Well, you can't take toxic out of no one, yep she didn't change....and she was still trying to drag me down...thanks but no thanks...not buying your act not this time...but the real kicker...she is STILL trying to get at the bro man!! OH HELL NO YOU DIDN'T!!! I had about .5 seconds of that, long enough to fire off a hot leave him and the Mrs. alone and never think about them again...I am a solider now and won't think twice about hurting you!!

So I put the fire out there, talked to bro man's wife to let her know about all the damage control and how I would not let T.B. ruin their lives (I mean really did T.B. think I wouldn't go down without a fight?) I did and then called it good...

TOXIC GONE!!!

FOREVER!!

So while I once was "nice" and let Toxic in, I am strong, have a family of my own and few that I call friends and family and have found that no one messes with those I call mine!!

Going Veggie

So I have found myself in desperate need of self improvement....with all the health problems that I have had in the recent year, I have found myself spiraling into a unhealthy eating lifestyle, being on the mend was no excuse for the way I was eating and putting my body through. So I decided after a day at the beach with my family and dealing with my self image to do something about it.

I have dabbled in vegetarianism off and on through out the years and each time I have felt great, I don't eat much meat to begin with, but to do with out it all together and put lots of "good" food back into my diet, really how could I go wrong?

So this past week I once again became a vegetarian. I am finding it a little hard to adjust to this time around as I now have a family that I cook for, but its coming along. This is my third day and so far so good. I have cut out all meat and am allowing myself to have fish at one meal a day. Maybe I am mentally psyching myself out, but I am feeling pretty good and with the amount of stress the Army has me under, well that is truly a miracle!!

So if this is going to be a life change or just a temporary until I am back to the "old" me again I am not sure of, what I am sure of is that I am going to embrace this new lifestyle and learn lots along the way!!!

Healing just isn't the same this time around!

I have been really homesick since I have been on con leave. The last time I had surgery we were lucky enough to be able to go home and spend most of the time in Kansas with my in-laws and even have Christmas with Handsome, it made the healing process a lot easier and my in-law truly know and understand me down to the need of coffee so that I may join the living on a daily basis. This time we were unable to go home, J had school I only had two weeks off and the money just wasn't there.

This surgery has caught me off guard, the pain; the physical limitations; the mental impact; the whole nine yards. We have been blessed with an amazing group of friends who through all of this have become like family to us. Neighbors who watched Moo during the surgery, made us dinner so I wouldn't have to cook on the night that J had school, a battle buddy who came over to watch Moo because of the limitations that were placed upon me made it physically impossible to care for her myself. More and more people were willing to step in and help us without us even having to ask. I am truly grateful for my military family, but they can never replace my family or shall I say the wonderful family that I was so blessed to have married into.

I am one of the lucky ones who can honestly say that I have the world best mother in law. She has become so much more than just my mother in law, she is my friend, cheer leader, role model and shoulder whenever I need her. I have come to value her so much over the years and truth be told I don't' know how I would have survived some of the difficulty that has been thrown at me if she hadn't been on by my side. I truly love that woman for all that she is and all the love that she shares!!

So while I am nursed back to health by my husband and friends, I can't help but to miss Kansas and my family there....oh how I love 125 S. Georgie and those that live there!!

Losing a part of me....

So this has been a long time in the making, but it finally starting to happen. Since I entered adulthood I have always struggled with problems what most people who are uncomfortable with the topic call "female problems". But they have made my adult life a living hell once a month. I suffer a great deal and at times can barley get out of bed. Safe to say, my life is put on hold when "its that time of the month". These past few months it's ALWAYS that time of the month!

On Tuesday I go in for my first of 2 surgeries. I am scared. Scared because its all about to come to an end. While that is an amazing thing, at the same time, what is going to happen to who I am? I am losing the main thing that makes me a woman. And while J and I decided while I was pregnant with our Moo that she would be our only child we would have together, and he got fixed, to me it was always something that could be undone if we wanted it and I was really okay with that.

So now that its me getting this done I am really wrestling with the emotions that it is bringing up. While I am going to rejoice in the fact that I am going to save money on not having to buy Midol, tampons and pads along with pull ups...I am sad, I will no longer get to have my PMS comfort food...lay around in sweats crying and watching chick flicks or even bitching about the cramps....

But this is what I wanted right?

Potty Training.....

So we have been working on potty training for almost a year. Its been hit and miss. We have weeks where we go on the potty then there is a full moon, the wind changes or Madi is just Madi and decides that she is NOT going to have a thing to do with potty training so its back to the pull-ups we go. It never fails, I get super excited about the progress, I start talking about it and then bam....she is back to not doing it.

So this week started like any other...when the mood struck or the tingles happened she would run for the potty and go....early on we went out and bought her a princess potty chair, she decided that she didn't want to go on it, and feed the foam insert part to the dogs, and since then she has used the big potty.

So Madi being a normal two year old, she had a fear of going poo in the potty, nothing would work, and I tried it all, stickers, candy, movies, promises of a easy teen years nothing.

So today a neighbor of ours gave us a potty chair, when you go potty the chair lights up and sings, it has a handle to flush and even a spot for the tp....well ITS A HIT!!

We have had dry panties ALL day and have even gone poo in the potty!!

FORGET WINNING THE LOTTERY, I AM WELL ON MY WAY TO NOT HAVING TO BUY PULL UPS ANYMORE!!

I LOVE BEING A MOM!!

I love being married

My intent with this post is not to offend. This is simply how I feel and live.....we each live our lives as we see fit and I am not one to EVER judge.

Being in the Army I have seen how lightly people take the union of marriage. I have always considered myself to be an old fashion kind of gal. You know the one who believes that marriage is forever, you should marry Mr. Forever not Mr. Right Now, with that being said, I am in an environment where marriage is anything but that. You see people all the time finding someone who they get along with as friends and "agree" to get married, the money is more, you don't have to live in the barracks, whatever the reason maybe, but few times its because they truly love each other.

We all know that this is not my first marriage and that I have gone through the divorce, got the tee shirt and wore it for a short amount of time, but my first marriage lasted 9 years and leaving was not something that I had decided to do over night, I tried everything I could and my last resort was divorce.

Another small known fact, I remarried.....this marriage was NOT entered into lightly and it was for no other reason that we were both adults who loved each other and truly wanted to be together for the rest of our lives. I took my time, got to know my husband, his family, his son and even his friends. We had the difficult conversations about the what ifs, we were tried and tested and we made it through.

My marriage is one of the most important and valued things in my life. I have stumbled along the way and not always been the wife I should have been...but through it all, we have kept the vows we made to each other in the back of our minds. Sure, at times we have both lead the other to want to walk away and throw in the towel, but we stayed and worked through it. Isn't this what we were taught growing up?

My husband's family is an amazing loving midwest kind of family, his grandparents were married for over 60 years. 60 YEARS!!!!! That is longer than most of us will be. I am sure at times they were both faced with the I can't stand you's, I don't like you, but at the end they always had the I love you. My husband was raised with these same belief's and values and that gives him the strength to stay and be the man he is. He also teaches me every day the importance of staying not only for the good but through the bad as well, because if we don't learn something new each day, then are we truly living?

Nothing makes me happier than being married to my husband and calling myself his wife. I am a lucky girl. But I can't be the only one who feels this way!! There has to be others that feel the same way I do about marriage!!

At the end of the day I want my kids growing up and seeing their parents being happy, healthy and in love and saying to there future mate, I want to have a marriage like my parents, because through it all they are still together.

At the end of the day, I look at Grandma and Grandpa Sargeant's marriage and I say to myself, I want the kind of marriage they have. And I know that being married J that we will work every day to have just that.

I love my husband!!

Mommy, can I call grandma and papa?

There is a few things that I have learned to truly enjoy this past year, one of them....sleeping in. I get up before the sun everyday during the week, I am up and out of the door before most people even begin to surface from the sweet coma sleep we all love, so I REALLY look forward to my two mornings that I get to sleep in. This morning, I woke up at 0615 to my beautiful Moo asking me if she could call her grandparents, this really means "mom, sucks to be you because I have lost your phone and in my two year old mind, I am not going to ever tell you where I put and oh good luck finding it." Oh and the kicker, my phone has died so its going straight to voice mail. Yes I have already borrowed the neighbor's phone and tried calling it.

So I got up with her, because well she is two and there really was no point in trying to go back to sleep...but the kicker...my princess NEVER wakes before 0900...NEVER....until today.