Jokes on me I guess

This mission was doomed from the start for me.  Yesterday we spent all day at the camp doing touchy feelings crap, which for the record there is noting that I hate more at work.  Picture this if you will, a group of men with a few women thrown in the mix sitting around talking about their feelings about work....can I pass on this one?  Thanks!!

As I sit here writing this there is a conversation going on behind my tent about sex, edible underwear and food.....WELCOME TO MY WORLD!!!  I did inform the guys that no, edible underwear is not a food and therefore will not count as a meal, despite the flavor of it.

So in 1st formation today we found out that our mission has changed and we are to stand tight and wait for further guidance.....um, in English that means we have nothing to do in this African dessert.....

So here I am stuck a million miles away from home living in a tent, eating MRE's three times a day and haven't had a shower or real bathroom in well over a week.  

All I want to do is work, what I joined the Army to do instead, we are tasked with cleaning our tents (we all have our own tent) and more team building.....ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDING ME!!!

I found god in a porta john

Here is a song that me and my friend wrote to describe what it was like to have to be a female and bath in the field.

ON A COOL AFRICAN NIGHT

BEFORE THE STARS WERE OUT SO BRIGHT

AS THE SAYIN GOES AND ITS OH SO TRUE

CLEANLINESS IS NEXT TO GODLINESS

I FOUND GOD IN A PORTA JOHN AND 

NOW I WONDER WHY IT TOOK ME SO LONG

THE LEGS WERE PRICKLY AND COVERED WITH GOO

AND OH LORD, I NEEDED TO SHAMPOO

SAND IN THE HAIR, STRIPPED DOWN BARE AND

I FOUND GOD IN A PORTA JOHN AND 

NOW I WONDER WHY IT TOOK ME SO LONG

WATER COLD AS ICE, BUT LORD DID WE SMELL SO NICE.

CHERRY BLOSSOM WITH A HINT OF BAMBOO, AND CUCUMBER MELON IF ONLY YOU KNEW

1ST TIME A PORTA JOHN HAS SMELLED SO SWEET, 

I THINK I FOUND GOD ON THIS AFRICAN RETREAT

I FOUND GOD IN A PORTA JOHN AND 

I WONDER WHY IT TOOK ME SO LONG!!!

Bus Ride

So we boarded the buses and were escorted through the country, despite being briefed that this was a high profile mission, we quickly began to question that theory because every town we went through we would go at break neck speeds and cars were literally at times shoved off the roads.  The scenes in the towns were something out of the movies.  Meat hanging in the shops, men sitting in cafes, women in head dresses and shopping.  At times this all felt surreal except for the fact that I was the one on the bus in the ACU's jet lagged.  


We drove through all sorts of terrain, mountains, desserts, cities, small remote villages, like I was on a quick whirlwind tour of a 3rd world country and we had to get it all in in a short amount of time.

Welcome To Africa

So we left Friday afternoon, we went to a military airport and waited for a few hours.  The over here was about 7 hours.  It was a commercial flight chartered for the military and we got to Morocco about 0700 the next day.  We flew into rain, rain in Africa?!? Yes, this was my thought as we began to offload the plane.  We deplane and board buses to go to customs and once we get over to the building we have to locate our ruck and duffel and form up.  My ruck alone easily weights over 50 lbs. so managing all this is no small feat for me.  We verify all our bags and then immediately reload them back onto the trailer that they were just off loaded from...yep that is the army for ya!!  This whole process took a little over an hour and once we are done loading the bags they tell us that we can utilize the latrines before we in process to the country.  Finally, a little bit of good news cause this girl has got to go!!  Now, keep in mind that we are in a 3rd world Muslim country and I am noting more than a small town Kansas girl.  So I make my way into the building with my battle and we start to stand in a long line, when someone with rank pulls all the females out of line and brings us to the front.  They are going to let the handful of us on this trip use the facilities first.  Ahhh, what sweet guys that is what you are thinking right?  

So we go into the bathrooms and are meet with stalls and sinks with mirrors, the little comforts of home so far away right, this mission might not be so bad after all!!!  I walk to the middle stall and open the door.....my jaw hit the floor, a pit formed in the bottom of my stomach and immediately i knew that I wasn't in Kansas anymore!!!

I am facing nothing more than a hole in the ground with two ridges where one would place the feet and at the front of the stall is a bucket and spicket.....wow..... speechless...sure we have all heard about the stories of this happening but have any of us really experience this first hand?  I have now....

I peed in a hole, I dropped the acu's, grabbed the back and tilted the booty and went.....I can say that peeing in a hole for the first time was a great success and there was little to no splashing....hey I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried!!!

So peeing in a hole is how I start this African adventure, what more is to come....or dare I even ask?

Green to Gold or OCS? What is a girl to do?

When I joined the Army, I joined with the intent of going officer at some point early in my career, and then the first two years were tough on me, mostly physically and I had more surgeries than days at work.  So the dream of wearing the bars were put on the back burner and I focused on healing and making it back to work in one complete working piece.

So I have been profile free for a few months now and the time has come to make some big decisions that are in fact going to change the way our family is.

I need to decide wheter I want to stay in the ranks and wait closer to my re-enlistment time and put in for a age waiver and go OCS or if I want to jump all in feet first and not look and apply for green to gold. 

OCS is Officer Candide School this is like basic training for officers, they learn to be leaders and get put through the wringer, its like basic training all over again!!  And while I impressed myself the first go around, I never really look forward to living it all over again.  I shudder at the thought of coming down on drill sergeant orders!!

The other is green to gold, green being a private and enlisted and going to an officer which is what the gold is.  This process is a matter of being actively enrolled in a college, half way done with a four year degree and applying, going before a board and then being accepted into school.

I am digging the green to gold option because I can be a full time college student, get promoted to Sgt and be commissioned right after I graduate.  This commitment is a 6 year commitment but at this stage in the game, the length of time is irrelevant being as I plan of this stage of the game making the Army my career....I am no longer a spring chicken.

So I have some pretty heavy stuff on my plate and I have some talking to do with the Sgt....he will support me in whatever I decide, but its just getting to the decision.....I hope I come to it soon, I have some serious goal achieving ahead of me!!