Jokes on me I guess

This mission was doomed from the start for me.  Yesterday we spent all day at the camp doing touchy feelings crap, which for the record there is noting that I hate more at work.  Picture this if you will, a group of men with a few women thrown in the mix sitting around talking about their feelings about work....can I pass on this one?  Thanks!!

As I sit here writing this there is a conversation going on behind my tent about sex, edible underwear and food.....WELCOME TO MY WORLD!!!  I did inform the guys that no, edible underwear is not a food and therefore will not count as a meal, despite the flavor of it.

So in 1st formation today we found out that our mission has changed and we are to stand tight and wait for further guidance.....um, in English that means we have nothing to do in this African dessert.....

So here I am stuck a million miles away from home living in a tent, eating MRE's three times a day and haven't had a shower or real bathroom in well over a week.  

All I want to do is work, what I joined the Army to do instead, we are tasked with cleaning our tents (we all have our own tent) and more team building.....ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDING ME!!!

I found god in a porta john

Here is a song that me and my friend wrote to describe what it was like to have to be a female and bath in the field.

ON A COOL AFRICAN NIGHT

BEFORE THE STARS WERE OUT SO BRIGHT

AS THE SAYIN GOES AND ITS OH SO TRUE

CLEANLINESS IS NEXT TO GODLINESS

I FOUND GOD IN A PORTA JOHN AND 

NOW I WONDER WHY IT TOOK ME SO LONG

THE LEGS WERE PRICKLY AND COVERED WITH GOO

AND OH LORD, I NEEDED TO SHAMPOO

SAND IN THE HAIR, STRIPPED DOWN BARE AND

I FOUND GOD IN A PORTA JOHN AND 

NOW I WONDER WHY IT TOOK ME SO LONG

WATER COLD AS ICE, BUT LORD DID WE SMELL SO NICE.

CHERRY BLOSSOM WITH A HINT OF BAMBOO, AND CUCUMBER MELON IF ONLY YOU KNEW

1ST TIME A PORTA JOHN HAS SMELLED SO SWEET, 

I THINK I FOUND GOD ON THIS AFRICAN RETREAT

I FOUND GOD IN A PORTA JOHN AND 

I WONDER WHY IT TOOK ME SO LONG!!!

Bus Ride

So we boarded the buses and were escorted through the country, despite being briefed that this was a high profile mission, we quickly began to question that theory because every town we went through we would go at break neck speeds and cars were literally at times shoved off the roads.  The scenes in the towns were something out of the movies.  Meat hanging in the shops, men sitting in cafes, women in head dresses and shopping.  At times this all felt surreal except for the fact that I was the one on the bus in the ACU's jet lagged.  


We drove through all sorts of terrain, mountains, desserts, cities, small remote villages, like I was on a quick whirlwind tour of a 3rd world country and we had to get it all in in a short amount of time.